English speakers , Please come in

Laish lah

I haven't heard from you for a while now which is not like you! You are usually around and active in the forum

Well,... hope all is good, and your just busy

I'm actually in a good mood today.. In two days I hit the hardest I have and stayed silent in my room for all that time, was quit worried going crazy with crazy stupid dangerous thoughts/plans at the tip on my finger about to really stupidly commit as if it was truly a logical solution, but I didn't.. I got quit fearful with no trust in myself with the way I have been thinking in my moods lay which was it's worst I can EVER recall later in the day on Sunday to be exact..A sudden huge mood shit to the worser... Mostly the lack of care for whats right anymore for my good and being sick of everything including anything in relation to people... ...

Strangely I also think in that little time a transformation has happened.. A totally different attitude, mmm not totally but a lot different than the before attitude .. Seeing hope AT LAST AGAIN...

Hoping I don't lose this.. Want it so bad so strongly.. Don't want to lose track backwards.. The point I got to was horrible horrible horrible lifeless hopeless ,....,...etc A dead walking person who wanted nothing nothing of life, but an exit out of it instead of back to it.. Thats how I describe it

If I allow myself to got back to that darkness I will be very upset, but no one to blame but me

Some thoughts of that dark time still remain, and I feel they ARE a reality not be just me being negative

For one, my thoughts of my family haven't changed, don't believe for a second that any of what what I'm thinking is exaggeration... It's does make me quite extremely silently angry for someone to say what I say in regards to my family is an exaggeration... I thought over it repetitively in doubt of myself maybe yes I'm wrong, and no I don't think so.. It's isn't an exaggeration... Still angry actually, but don't wish to argue... I'll just consider that one comment as an individuals personal opinion.. My angry will ware off I know, because I don't hold grudges easily towards people, by far I don't.. A person has to have done a lot or something quite huge in order for me to hold a grudge.. I think that's actually a bad thing in a way, because then in result a forgive too much and SOME not all take advantage of that.. Maybe I'm too kind.. I know I can be being a big hearted person manage to find excuses for people letting things pass and then something happens.. It's a pattern actually that's is repeating itself and has happened many times before with a significant number of people in my past.. Well, I wont worry about it, I guess allah will deal with them.. Right!? Why Should I care? Doesn't mean I want the pattern to keep on replying, but I wont worry only under certain circumstances.. You can't know what's going on in everyone's mind no matter how much you want to or try it isn't always possible.. You can build assumptions or believe of what may or just may not be, but sometimes you will just never know.. Time will simply always (most of the time) will show somehow what things are.. Wouldn't it be nice if what someone was thinking would be written on their forehead, or everything was just clear and direct with honesty... Of course a lot of people don't like that, but I think from my past I've gotten quite used to hearing direct true things to the point I'm numb to getting shocked.. I do go nuts if I have to think for myself trying to understand something ... whys and hows?? I have one particular friend who has won in blowing my mind away with what she would boldly throw at me.. I don't think I was ever that shocked in my life like the shock she gave me... She did that so many times to where I really think I've managed to create an immunity..

On this earth I guess you need to expect the unexpected the bast you can... Theres nothing more than the best you can

You see I can go on and go talking from one thing to another like I'm talk deprived... I exceeded the time I had to reply because I seriously need to get things done that just can't hold like they are, therefor I have no time to look over what I wrote, so I hope I have no mistakes and everything's clear..

Sultan, I hope your ok, and that we'll hear from you soon inshallah

good morning miss. hope
how are you ? i hope that you are feeling good
in the past view days i had some problems in my internet connection
and that's why i wasn't able to be here
.so, l me what's going on with you these days
? me ? my father is threatening to kick me and my brother out of the house . can you believe it
Actualy i'm happey because that will be a prove against him and everyone will know the truth about him

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة ليش لا

good morning miss. hope
how are you ? i hope that you are feeling good

in the past view days i had some problems in my internet connection
and that's why i wasn't able to be here

Don't worry about it.. It's okay.. It's just internet connections right! What can you do until the issue is fixed... So no problem

.so, l me what's going on with you these days

? me ? my father is threatening to kick me and my brother out of the house . can you believe it

Yes I can believe it... Everythings possible... Even the unexpected.. You never know.. ... Even what we could have never imagined could happen or could/would happen to us... Everything and Anything is possible... SO yes I DO

Actualy i'm happey because that will be a prove against him and everyone will know the truth about him

The question is are you sure this would be the right action to take? What happened for him to threaten you? Things don't happen for no reason?! If you don't mind me asking why do you and your brother have a poor relationship with your father to start with? Where did it all start? Could you explain

Don't get happy and make a quick decision without a lot of thought of whether just leaving would be RIGHT thing rather then trying to solve what issues you have between you and your father...

I can't say much, because I don't know anything about the details of anything... nothing..

I would think of living apart as a last resort... That would be after long long long thinking and weighing things... You need to think about the FUTURE too..as a whole how would it be?? Don't leave anything out... Leaving or staying in the house will reflect on the future.. Don't just think about yourself either when you about the future.. No matter how hard it may be to believe he does care about you even if he shows ZERO care and acts as if he is your worst enemy.. I don't think he would want to have nothing to do with you forever if you leave the house... He still and will always be your father... We can't change our parents... We have ONE father and ONE mother for the rest of our lives... You can't leave and break all connections for the rest of your life after that.... He is your father

On the other hand, if more positive will come out of you leaving the house including your relationship with him...then I would say maybe.. I say maybe because I don't what happened for this to happen or anything about why do you have trouble together before his threat...from the start why!? The history shall I say... That is also your personal information and I wont intrude or push.. It's not my place.. I have no grounds unless you on your own choose to elaborate..


Another important thing... You are a student Sultan... Is your brother a student too? How will you live on your own? Where would your income come from? How would you support yourself?

Where is your mother in the picture or is she not in the picture? Do you have sisters? Older siblings?


Are you in the house still or out??


What has happened since your post?

By the way, Ramadan Mubarak...

hi miss. hope , i really didn't notic your comment until now . sorry

The question is are you sure this would be the right action to take? What happened for him to threaten you? Things don't happen for no reason?! If you don't mind me asking why do you and your brother have a poor relationship with your father to start with? Where did it all start? Could you explain

it doesn't matter if i'm right or not , because i'm not going to have any options when he kicks me out
look , the problem started way back "years ago" we simply hate him because he is treating us like he owns us
i'll l you one story as an example
when i was 8 or 7 years old i told my father to buy me a ball to play with , but he didn't answer me
then i told him again but he didn't answer me as well . then i told him please buy me a ball
then he grab an iron stick "pipe" and hit me as hard as he could by that iron stick . and i was 7 years old only
. i raised my hands to protect myself , the first blow hit my right hand . and now i have a permanent scar in my hand
so , now i think you have an idea about what kind of a person he is
. one year ago i decided that i had enough from him then we fought each other and i told him i despises him and i will never speak to him ever again
. and since that day i didn't speak to him . but these days my brother is also ignoring him and this is driving him crazy
: To answer your questions
yes my brother is a student and we are still in the house . my mother is upset but she can't do anything because my father never listens to her

and Ramadan Mubarak to you too

:)

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة ليش لا

Before you read this please keep in mind that even though there's a big possibly you may think I'm too harsh, insensitive or don't understand.. ,but that isn't my intention behind what I have said in reply to you and said straight out what I had to say.. People don't like that when I do that, but I'm not going to lie or go around in circles.. Being too honest in just speaking my mind tends to get me in trouble sometimes, but I don't have a bad intention and I hope you realize that... I usually get misunderstood.. I am not trying to argue or blame you either, but I am talking with you...



it doesn't matter if i'm right or not , because i'm not going to have any options when he kicks me out
Sometimes it's not about whose right or wrong.. It's about trying to make things right and perhaps sacrificing not just seeing who is right and wrong... I would only say that for close family or people other than family who truly deserve to make a sacrifice for..... Unless you trying to fix the situation with him will just make things worse then maybe moving out would be better.. If it makes things, but if kills whats left of your relationship with and you totally go in your separate ways like strangers then no... If it's because you think it's a hopeless case and you've had enough from him as a reason for welcoming being kicked out instead trying to get to some bottom line or agreement.... well forgive me but I will say my true opinion..but in that case I would you might be looking for an easy way out... Some things in life just DO need sooo much effort even after you feel what else can give or what more... How much harder.., but thats life and your relationship with your father is something I feel you should fight for...He is your blood and flesh... ummm you wouldnt be here today if it wasnt for your mother and father... If you had another father there wouldn't be a sultan...

look , the problem started way back "years ago" we simply hate him because he is treating us like he owns us
i'll l you one story as an example
when i was 8 or 7 years old i told my father to buy me a ball to play with , but he didn't answer me
then i told him again but he didn't answer me as well . then i told him please buy me a ball
then he grab an iron stick "pipe" and hit me as hard as he could by that iron stick . and i was 7 years old only
. i raised my hands to protect myself , the first blow hit my right hand . and now i have a permanent scar in my hand
so , now i think you have an idea about what kind of a person he is

Yes I do... Yes what he did isn't acceptable...not all Call me crazy but I will ask you the following... Hasn't your experiences with him made you a different person in any good way?? Let me explain more.... If you had a perfect father or just a father who had nothing to do with and just gave you money.. this is an example ok... Bottom line a father that didn't give such touble and you had a stable or near stable family how would you have turned out?? Our experiences create us whether their bad or good... Some people because they've had an easy life they may mature late or almost never, they don't understand life, they don't know what difficult can truly be, they may lack understanding to how others may feel because they've only been through baby stuff, if they even have a true difficult or near that they may not know how to handle it at all like it's the end of the world when it may not be a true difficult situation,.....,.....etc Shall I go on, I can make the list longer.... Do you get my point.....???? so do you think your experiences haven't served you any good in how it built and made you as the person you are today?? Actually as harsh this MAY sound the more difficult things we live and go through starting from a younger age.. the more capableable we are later in life to survives or deal with things, ....,....etc Some people say if your in your twenties your young and you don't know what life's about or how difficult it can be or how deceiving people can be... Making the comment that only the older you get the wiser and the more you grow.... Not true... You don't grow by how old you are in years... A number how old your in my opinion is meaningless... It means zero... You don't grow necessarily by how many years you've lived since you were born... Its by your experiences... How rich are they.. How much have you seen, experienced, and lived....
The other question is can you not stand your father so much to the point if something big laqadar allah happened to him and he is very sick in hospital for an example would you think good he deserves it... I don't care...

If your to find out that suddenly he is gone laqadar allah something tragic happened and he unexpectedly died... how would you feel? Will you be satisfied about your acting and way of dealing with him today.... What would go on in your mind.... You never know when it's the last time you will see anyone... You should always act like there's no tomorrow!!!! You never know....

. one year ago i decided that i had enough from him then we fought each other and i told him i despises him and i will never speak to him ever again
. and since that day i didn't speak to him . but these days my brother is also ignoring him and this is driving him crazy

In that I don't blame him... How would you feel if you had two sons living under your roof who didn't talk to you... And you since a year ago!!! Always try to put yourself in others peoples place try to imagine how it would be or how they feel or think... For anyone... Put yourself in his place... You probably think he deserve his sons not talking to him or he caused that problem by his own hands... Try to give him a chance... Ignoring someone isn't the solution... He is your father not a stranger who you don't like how he treated you... Ignoring is making no effort and again taking the easy way out... It would much harder the other way wouldn't it??!! Guess what it isn't the solution and it made things worse... Running from difficulties never is the answer... On the contrary... You probably didn't want to struggle anymore had enough and said thats it I'm not talking to him anymore... You can't divorce your parents... Even in marriage you can't just not talk as a solution.... You can't it doesn't resolve things... Ok yes if you say you want space alone for a little I understand, but your saying since a year ago!!!! You exceeded it... You brothers have part in how things have become... It's all him who is responsible all alone...

What would Allah say about this!!! What are parents in religion

Try to give him another chance... I should say this to myself about my parents too actually... Family get chances... Outside family will I usually give them out like candy heh to people who really know me.. meaning not stranger or people I barely know... I always try to search and find so excuse giving chances for free until I seriously got hurt once, but that person she really didn't deserve it and did COST me an experience I will never forget... I still find myself doing that same thing heh... The point is parents and immediate family have what I will call the card of another chance... Being in the position of a Mother, father, sister, and brother is enough... UNLESS they have done something really really really big... I something really so wrong... I mean extremely...

Did you try to think why is he the way he is? Did ever try to think how he became the way he is? He wasn't born the way he is!!!!!

Has he done something huge that soooo wrong to your brother and you.. that like a taboo or something? You said one example!

: To answer your questions
yes my brother is a student and we are still in the house . my mother is upset but she can't do anything because my father never listens to her

Humm... so I wonder how you think or plan to live totally on your own....

Yes I do... Yes what he did isn't acceptable...not all Call me crazy but I will ask you the following... Hasn't your experiences with him made you a different person in any good way?? Let me explain more.... If you had a perfect father or just a father who had nothing to do with and just gave you money.. this is an example ok... Bottom line a father that didn't give such touble and you had a stable or near stable family how would you have turned out?? Our experiences create us whether their bad or good... Some people because they've had an easy life they may mature late or almost never, they don't understand life, they don't know what difficult can truly be, they may lack understanding to how others may feel because they've only been through baby stuff, if they even have a true difficult or near that they may not know how to handle it at all like it's the end of the world when it may not be a true difficult situation,.....,.....etc Shall I go on, I can make the list longer.... Do you get my point.....???? so do you think your experiences haven't served you any good in how it built and made you as the person you are today?? Actually as harsh this MAY sound the more difficult things we live and go through starting from a younger age.. the more capableable we are later in life to survives or deal with things, ....,....etc Some people say if your in your twenties your young and you don't know what life's about or how difficult it can be or how deceiving people can be... Making the comment that only the older you get the wiser and the more you grow.... Not true... You don't grow by how old you are in years... A number how old your in my opinion is meaningless... It means zero... You don't grow necessarily by how many years you've lived since you were born... Its by your experiences... How rich are they.. How much have you seen, experienced, and lived....


Are you saying that i should be happy about how he treated me
and i should thank him too



The other question is can you not stand your father so much to the point if something big laqadar allah happened to him and he is very sick in hospital for an example would you think good he deserves it... I don't care...

If your to find out that suddenly he is gone laqadar allah something tragic happened and he unexpectedly died... how would you feel? Will you be satisfied about your acting and way of dealing with him today.... What would go on in your mind.... You never know when it's the last time you will see anyone... You should always act like there's no tomorrow!!!! You never know....

it really doesn't matter anymore
if something happned to him i will not feel anything . anything at all
call me a devil or a demon , but that is the truth

In that I don't blame him... How would you feel if you had two sons living under your roof who didn't talk to you... And you since a year ago!!! Always try to put yourself in others peoples place try to imagine how it would be or how they feel or think... For anyone... Put yourself in his place... You probably think he deserve his sons not talking to him or he caused that problem by his own hands... Try to give him a chance... Ignoring someone isn't the solution... He is your father not a stranger who you don't like how he treated you... Ignoring is making no effort and again taking the easy way out... It would much harder the other way wouldn't it??!! Guess what it isn't the solution and it made things worse... Running from difficulties never is the answer... On the contrary... You probably didn't want to struggle anymore had enough and said thats it I'm not talking to him anymore... You can't divorce your parents... Even in marriage you can't just not talk as a solution.... You can't it doesn't resolve things... Ok yes if you say you want space alone for a little I understand, but your saying since a year ago!!!! You exceeded it... You brothers have part in how things have become... It's all him who is responsible all alone

believe me i have tried every possible way to make things better with him , but non of them is working
and don't forget that i'm psychologicaly ill because of him
so , i realized that the only way for me to get better "psychologicaly" is not speakimg to him and just forget him
what eals can i do ? do you want me to keep trying with him until i become compley insane

Try to give him another chance... I should say this to myself about my parents too actually... Family get chances... Outside family will I usually give them out like candy heh to people who really know me.. meaning not stranger or people I barely know... I always try to search and find so excuse giving chances for free until I seriously got hurt once, but that person she really didn't deserve it and did COST me an experience I will never forget... I still find myself doing that same thing heh... The point is parents and immediate family have what I will call the card of another chance... Being in the position of a Mother, father, sister, and brother is enough... UNLESS they have done something really really really big... I something really so wrong... I mean extremely

i gave him so many chances , but it's all useless
and i get what you are trying to say . the answer is : no

Are you saying that i should be happy about how he treated me
and i should thank him too

NO, it's not something to be happy about... I was trying to say that it's not all negative

There is nothing good about your personality and who you are that you've gained that maybe wouldn't be in you if you didn't go through what you've been through...nothing??!!

it really doesn't matter anymore
if something happned to him i will not feel anything . anything at all
call me a devil or a demon , but that is the truth

Are you sure? or are you saying that in anger perhaps.....!! I wont call you a demon nor a devil... You can feel however why you want to feel.. I think though that you feel that way because you let the feeling of hate for him to overcome anything else to where that's whats controlling you, because you have a very high feeling of hate/dislike towards.. Hate sometimes can make you blind and make you take actions later you may regret... or may not... Forgive me, but I don't think you would feel nothing if something was to happen to him... Haven't you ever felt 100% sure about something... lets say even 100 million percent sure and then shocked yourself later finding out no it wasn't how you thought.. Has that happened to you?? if yes.. thats what I believe in regards to you saying you wont feel anything

I've felt that way so many countless times about my father too... I know that feeling very well.. Anger, hate, rage, dislike,...ect are the controllers those times I felt it's doesn't matter... Just want him out of my life

believe me i have tried every possible way to make things better with him , but non of them is working
and don't forget that i'm psychologicaly ill because of him
so , i realized that the only way for me to get better "psychologicaly" is not speakimg to him and just forget him
what eals can i do ? do you want me to keep trying with him until i become compley insane

Yeah well if my parents acted differently towards a lot of things and my father didn't treat me the way he does I probably wouldn't have had even a quarter of my psychological issues either.... Has not speaking to him truly mad things better? Are you under his threat still? You need to try harder... Crazy !!!.. A comment that makes you angry perhaps..., but seriously try harder... You've totally just gave up

About the insane part... Learn skills to help you cope to stay sane like the way you think (CBT) or learning how to truly do relaxation frequently does help... Those are my main things, but there's more... Remember I was complaining about losing my mind so stressed and in a bad condition to where I would forget my house, streets, what I was outside for,.... etc and I wouldn't recall sometimes until after a while... Not fun... Scary..

I'm not kidding.. You both are students it's not wise to get kicked out at the time.. You need to at least come to some sort of compromise... AT LEAST A COMPROMISE... You have to.. Your almost done with university you can move out when you get a job, but not because Total strangers or to where if you ever need to face each other in the future you can't talk act calmly together without a fight...

i gave him so many chances , but it's all useless

You still can't give up... No matter how impossible the situation seems or painful it is to push yourself to try still, because you CAN'T stand him.. You can't stop.. It's sound out of the question or crazy, but that's the right thing to do.. Baby things at least to get by... It's doesn't have to be that nice father and son relationship...


What I say may very likely sound crazy or like I just don't understand, but I have the same issue.. My father is the person who has hurt me so much again and again from long long ago a selfish insensitive person cold who can just lose control with anger.. My brother is so precious to him though...I guess I'm the child by mistake that he didn't want.. Wait I was if he tried to divorce my mom while she pregnant and have nothing to do with her... ...I can never forgive him NEVER EVER... But I wont allow myself to act like him and treat him the way he treats me... I try not to I seriously... Just because he does wrong things doesn't mean I have the right to act wrong too towards... Are we mature adults or children! I don't want my hate to take over and it has, but I try to stay aware to when I'm doing that.. I want to be better than him.. If one of us doesn't try something or act right than we well lets just kill each other in a fight to death..

It isn't easy..

Mashallah y not and miss hope u speak english fleuntly
i hop too

miss. hope
i know it's not easy but i'm done trying . i'm sorry i just can't do it anymore . and i can't imagine myself doin it
? i just want to live my life with absoluy nothing to do with him . is this too much to ask for




by the way , how are you in Ramadan ? i mean with fasting in this hot summer

Kareem with effort and a true want to learn the the language you can be fluent like us

Sultan, well only you can decide and control your future... Only you can be responsible for that no one else.. I wont degrade you for you decision... It's up to you.. If you ever..ever change your mind I'll support you.. I just want to help.. I think you know too even though I may have seemed rough or insensitive or both that's not what my aim is.. I know how it can be

Anyways....

About Ramadan strange you ask in relation to the heat...!! Health is the issue :( Isn't it always hot outside... Super hot more now though.. You get cooked, and don't feel any air conditioner is enough until much later do I feel the effect... I feel wheres the air :) Don't laugh, but I wish sometimes that I could fit in the freezer that way I'll cool down much much quicker when I get home from outside.. In general I get hot easily and want the air conditioner COLD a little above what could be called the average... My Mom and Dad though want it so warm while my brother and I about die

No fasting and heat could be much worse if your were a laborer working outside in the heat directly... I get hot just walking from our front door to my car outside to go out... I hate the heat.. Winter is better... Winter and rain

No it's ok fasting in hot weather, because it's not like your going to set outside under the sun directly... It's just a matter of walking through it from your car into places, and having good car AC... oh and good AC in the places you walk into as well... It's not the end of the world. It's not I'm thrown in the desert with NO shelter I'll survive..

HEALTH is the issue and it's making me upset... I can't fast like I would like... For health related reason.. I WILL when I think I can, BUT :( can't grantee to succeed fasting to end of time before breaking fast... Number one main issue lay I'm struggling a lot with sever pain where if I take nothing I can't even walk a short distance from point A to B.. Forget about the walking it gets really painful... If I don't I will letaraly get stuck somewhere seated until that peroid of pain going away itself in hope it goes soon or my painkiller... At home I will just lay in bed, and I always keep my medicine beside my bed with a bottle of water with something to eat in a small closed bag usually biscuits.. I can't take the painkiller unless I take the stomach meds then wait then eat the finally the painkiller...

I even yesterday just bought a stronger painkiller... The other didn't always work fully sometimes, but enough to where the pain is much less to where I can ignore it if I'm busy with something and NOT walking around a lot.. Feel it more standing don't know why... I needed the stronger one because I don't want to feel disabled because of it.. I want to control it not the other way around.. It didn't only have the issue of not controlling the pain (times more then others), but worked for even less then half a day, because I would exceed the daily total dose possible in that little time as the instructed way of use for acute pain!! I didn't do that exceeding on my own... heh what about the rest of the time!? The rest of the hours of the day.. What I have things to do!

Pain that is bearable during fasting it's ok..., but that not my pain is anymore... With no medication it can get out of control..it's acute.. It will stay this way until I get a surgery scheduled, but theres things that needs to be done before that.. It's not just a matter of setting a date.. I need survive and manage until that time

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة لدي أمل

Sultan, well only you can decide and control your future... Only you can be responsible for that no one else.. I wont degrade you for you decision... It's up to you.. If you ever..ever change your mind I'll support you.. I just want to help.. I think you know too even though I may have seemed rough or insensitive or both that's not what my aim is.. I know how it can be

:) i know that , thanks miss. hope

Anyways....

About Ramadan strange you ask in relation to the heat...!! Health is the issue :( Isn't it always hot outside... Super hot more now though.. You get cooked, and don't feel any air conditioner is enough until much later do I feel the effect... I feel wheres the air :) Don't laugh, but I wish sometimes that I could fit in the freezer that way I'll cool down much much quicker when I get home from outside.. In general I get hot easily and want the air conditioner COLD a little above what could be called the average... My Mom and Dad though want it so warm while my brother and I about die

hhhhhh . tha same here


No fasting and heat could be much worse if your were a laborer working outside in the heat directly... I get hot just walking from our front door to my car outside to go out... I hate the heat.. Winter is better... Winter and rain

yeah . winter is much better . Ramadan will be in winter after 10 years or more

No it's ok fasting in hot weather, because it's not like your going to set outside under the sun directly... It's just a matter of walking through it from your car into places, and having good car AC... oh and good AC in the places you walk into as well... It's not the end of the world. It's not I'm thrown in the desert with NO shelter I'll survive..

hhhhhh . yeah you'r right

HEALTH is the issue and it's making me upset... I can't fast like I would like... For health related reason.. I WILL when I think I can, BUT :( can't grantee to succeed fasting to end of time before breaking fast... Number one main issue lay I'm struggling a lot with sever pain where if I take nothing I can't even walk a short distance from point A to B.. Forget about the walking it gets really painful... If I don't I will letaraly get stuck somewhere seated until that peroid of pain going away itself in hope it goes soon or my painkiller... At home I will just lay in bed, and I always keep my medicine beside my bed with a bottle of water with something to eat in a small closed bag usually biscuits.. I can't take the painkiller unless I take the stomach meds then wait then eat the finally the painkiller...

I even yesterday just bought a stronger painkiller... The other didn't always work fully sometimes, but enough to where the pain is much less to where I can ignore it if I'm busy with something and NOT walking around a lot.. Feel it more standing don't know why... I needed the stronger one because I don't want to feel disabled because of it.. I want to control it not the other way around.. It didn't only have the issue of not controlling the pain (times more then others), but worked for even less then half a day, because I would exceed the daily total dose possible in that little time as the instructed way of use for acute pain!! I didn't do that exceeding on my own... heh what about the rest of the time!? The rest of the hours of the day.. What I have things to do!

Pain that is bearable during fasting it's ok..., but that not my pain is anymore... With no medication it can get out of control..it's acute.. It will stay this way until I get a surgery scheduled, but theres things that needs to be done before that.. It's not just a matter of setting a date.. I need survive and manage until that time

? miss. hope , i want to know what is your illness "if it's ok with you" and why are taking painkillers
? which part of your body is hurting ? why do you need a surgery

good evening miss. hope

long time no see

how are you ? i didn't see you in a while

i hope you are okay and everything is working out good for you

why not and i hav hope

i miss u

i hope u are good